first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
