laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
