How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
