Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
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