did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
