6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
