two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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