I smell stomach acid.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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