She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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