you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
