Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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