This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize