Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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