he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
