What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
