I hate your face
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
