I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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