Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
