dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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