took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize