was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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