HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
