Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.