4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?