I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
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You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
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What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...