I've blown a few things in my day
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
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My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
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Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me