i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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