As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
