All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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