you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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