she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
