I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
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Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
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We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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