Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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