Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
