true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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