I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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