He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
