i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We are two peas in an std pod
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
