Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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