...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
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Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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