Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
