i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
