You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
