i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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