you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
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He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
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Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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