Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
