Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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