Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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