Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
