Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I have post one night stand depression
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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