Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
