i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize