I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
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