I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
