Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
