I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize