Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize