Kiss
Puke
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
