you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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