They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
