Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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