The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
